


Gone

by Prime627



Category: Bungo Stray Dogs
Genre: Dazai gets around, Kunikida is a therapist, LOOONG Chapter, Mori is abusive, Multi, NailedIt, Stalker Chuuya sees too much, Surprise Killer, take 2, trans!Dazai, whodunit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-08-26 04:23:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16674442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prime627/pseuds/Prime627
Summary: Chuuya is an alcoholic trying to get through daily life. He rides the train from home to work, and from work to home. His social life is kept to a bare minimum, and his only friend has given him a place to stay under her roof. To keep himself occupied on his long train rides, he fantasizes about a couple he sees standing on a balcony, and his obsession grows to something scary. Before he knows it, he's a prime suspect in the murder, the target of his obsession.Dazai is making a new life for himself when something goes horribly wrong. He's dated the wrong man, made wrong decisions, but he's still a good person, right? His boyfriend makes him visit a therapist every week, and that gives him some kind of meaning...until it all goes down in flames.It's all fun and games until someone dies. Nothing is as it seems





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the very first, very rough draft of this on my phone and presented it years ago to rosesandlads. Not a lot of incomplete stories haunt me, but this one drove me to near insanity until one night I sat up in bed and grabbed my laptop and started writing. Of course, trying to spill everything I had just dreamed onto a keyboard at three in the morning resulted in a little...mess that I ended up scrapping and redoing. This is the retake. This is the first chapter to "Gone", and I hope you like it. The many twists and turns in this story keeps my brain wired. It takes after The Girl on the Train in it's entirety, so I have to give credit to the novel and the movie for keeping me up at night and spilling my crossover onto a canvas.

Chuuya rode the train quietly, nursing his headache with more wine. He sucked deliberately slow out of his water bottle while he drew a naked man in his notebook. He focused more detail on the body and muscle lines than the face, and it showed.  
There were only two lines and a half-circle representing his head.  
He didn't really care who saw this sketch. He'd plead homework if it came down to it. After all, this train went right by the art school, and there were several people holding portfolios in paint-stained clothes. Almost all of them drank coffee with extreme precision, guiding the rim to their lips and holding it there that extra second before tilting their cup so the hot-bean brew was guided into their stomachs.  
The smell alone made Chuuya sick, but that was probably from the wine. He took another sip and set his pen down on top of the sketch when he felt the train give that familiar jerk it always did right before rounding the corner.  
Rounding HIS corner.  
HIS house sat nice and neat between two other houses that looked exactly the same, but it was HIS house. He knew it from the way it stood proudly against the sun, sternly in the wind, and protectively during storms. It wasn't an ordinary house with four walls, a floor, and a roof...it was a home, and he loved the people inside.  
One was a man who stood on the balcony every morning to watch the sun rise...and the other man was one who had slaved all summer over a balcony. He had to love the man Chuuya adored, the man who watched the sun. Chuuya could only imagine he was wishing he was in Paris....or London.  
The house was blue and white, and if the train would move on instead of slowing down for the next stop, one could see the lake, and oh, it was a beautiful sight, the lake, especially at the crack of dawn, when the sun set the waves ablaze with oranges and reds fit to toast marshmallows on.  
Inside, the house was organized as if two OCD people lived there. Jars labelled with their contents, shoes lined up neatly along the wall leading to the door, bed made every day...and a coffee pot that would chime right before brewing a hot pot every day just as the sun set the lake on fire.  
Outside, the yard was trimmed every week and the flowers lining the fences were watered every afternoon, carefully pruned and cared for so that they bloomed early in the spring and stayed long into the colder months before withering at the first frost.  
Well...that's how it was inside Chuuya's head.  
There it is, he breathed, and he shimmied closer to the window in order to view the couple on the balcony.  
* * *  
Dazai sipped the coffee, savoring its sharp taste. No sugar, no cream. He had been lazy today, and just wanted something to drink to warm his belly. He stood bare-chested on the balcony, smooth wood under his bare feet.  
Mori wrapped his arms around his hips and kissed his neck right under his ear. "Good morning."  
Dazai leaned back into him and chuckled. He closed his eyes and sighed genly. "Don't you just wish we could hop onto a train and leave...?"  
"And where would we go?"  
Dazai smiled a little. "Any where we desired."  
Mori tutted softly. "What we have here is good enough."  
* * *  
Oda held his adopted daughter in his arms, chuckling as she sucked on her knuckles. He rocked her gently, kissing her head gently. He sang a gentle lullaby in her ear, and his head lifted sharply when he heard Ango enter the room.  
Ango was dressed like he normally did, with a suit and tie. He was always dressed for a meeting or a funeral, and could walk into either one with the same confidence put on like his cologne. "Are you keeping her awake?"  
"No, no...she's dead-asleep. I think that big breakfast did her in." He kissed her head again, offering her to Ango.  
"Hello, Rose...is Odasaku being annoying?" Ango pushed up his glasses and sighed softly when he found Oda was telling the truth. At the sound of a train whistle, Ango looked up at the clock and frowned. "I gotta get going."  
Oda nodded and took his daughter back. "Of course. I'll see you for dinner?"  
"You always do."  
* * *  
Dazai bit his lip hard and he scrambled for a grip on the counter, his hips striking the edge of the granite countertop. He sobbed each time bone met stone, and each time he was scolded.  
Mori worked himself to a climax inside Dazai, pinning the brunette's head down and slamming into him harder, suddenly grabbing a fistful of hair and tugging Dazai down onto his member, making him take every inch before he spilled deeply inside him, filling his insides with liquid heat.  
"How was that?"  
Dazai touched his bruised hips and gave a sudden gasp of sheer pain. His body glowed with shame and he looked at Mori, seed rolling down his inner thighs. "That was great."  
Mori kissed him and the pair fell into each other, collapsing contentedly on the couch. "Not too rough that time?"  
Dazai shook his head, biting his lip a little and smiling. "Just bruised hips. No blood."  
Mori tutted. "Damn.." He fondly tugged his hair again, and Dazai moaned. "Now if you keep talking like that, we're going to have to do that again.."  
Dazai groaned and tried to silence his arousal from voicing itself, but it was no use. He found himself late to work yet again, and his throat raw from Mori's member.  
* * *  
Chuuya sipped lazily at the end of the day. He had gotten a new water bottle with a new, red straw...because his soft rubber straw had started turning red from wine. Now he had a hard plastic straw, and it poked into his mouth like a needle, creating sores and bloody areas that Chuuya ran his tongue over and swallowed down.  
The rubber straw reminded him of how a baby nurses from his mother, and that stirred some memory inside him of a gentle heartbeat, warm milk, and ginger locks puddling around him and creating a curtain. Of course, it was his mother and the first time he was nursed...but it had to have been created as a form of comfort and not from reality.  
He had cigarette burns on his back and arms from his so-called mother, so he doubted that she ever nursed him with love and care described in his memory...maybe one time did she ever nurse him, probably in front of the nurses who helped tug him out, free her from a sickly parasite who wailed and kicked and sobbed.  
Chuuya ground his teeth. The memory was made up, because when he was only six weeks old, he was found in a Dumpster.  
A woman came on the train, holding a child that sneezed and sobbed softly in her arms. It was dressed heavily for the weather, but a reddened face protruded from the layers of clothing.  
The only empty seat that was easily surrendered was Chuuya's, and much to his displeasure, she sat by him. She soothed the shivering child gently, kissing beet-red skin and smiling at Chuuya slowly, who sipped cautiously at his secret wine.  
She sighed softly, giving a shiver. "It's breezy out there!"  
Chuuya glanced out the window to the way that the trees looked like they were struggling to keep upright. Branches whipped around like hands trying to catch something and brace themselves on it. "Yeah...just a little breeze.."  
The baby sobbed again, its hands pressing to its mother and trying to undo buttons. She watched the child, only slightly embarrassed as the child fumbled around like a drunk lover trying to undress his new plaything.  
She sighed again and took the child, holding it against her chest and revealing one breast, letting it nurse loudly. She tilted her head back and seemed to be lulled asleep like that.  
The child nursed hungrily and grunted as it curled against her, staring at Chuuya as though it half expected the redhead to rip it off its mother's breast. He stared dumbly at the scene before him, his wine muddling his reason. He touched the baby's head, and stroked slowly.  
* * *  
Dazai undressed after work, shivering when Mori's hands were on him in an instant.  
"It's fucking cold out there," the brunette exclaimed. He jerked when cold fingers ran down between his nipples and dipped into his pants. "And so are you! Get out of there!" He laughed and squirmed away.  
Mori smiled a little and started to lick off his fingers slowly, as though savoring something exotic. His eyes closed and he showed Dazai why he was so cold.  
"Take-out?? You walked three miles for take-out??" Dazai looked at him. "Are you insane?"  
Mori smiled a little. "It's all still warm..from your favorite Thai restaurant."  
That melted Dazai. "Mango chicken?"  
"And chili paste."  
"I love you."  
* * *  
Chuuya stumbled into his home, almost tripping over a pair of boots that would have kept his feet warmer than the tennis shoes he went for. He set his bags of groceries down beside his bed and he collapsed into the mattress. He curled up under his blankets and went for a nap (as he had bought milk and that needed to be put away), but instead he woke up sometime around two in the morning and cursed himself.  
But the bags were already put away, thanks to his friend who allowed him to move in with her. She was beside him, holding his water bottle of wine.  
"Is this really necessary?"  
Chuuya studied Kouyou's face, looking for some kind of anger. But she was concerned. "I...my route changed. I go by that house."  
"Then sit somewhere else! You don't have to drink to get by it. You can just...sit in front on the opposite side."  
"Do you really think that would work...?"  
There was doubt in her nod and Chuuya sighed, cuddling into her and nodding. "I'll try it...I promise."  
* * *  
Ango was dressing for work when he found something strange on the island. It was a sacked lunch, and when he looked inside, he found all his favorite snacks...but why?  
Oda came out in boxers and a shirt that hung off one shoulder. "That's for you."  
"Why?"  
"Because I don't need to hear a rumbling stomach when I'm trying to romance you."  
Ango blushed and took the bag, rolling his eyes and trying to be more dominant than he usually was. He tended to be a "yes, sir" kind of man when it came to Oda, but he wanted to have some kind of back bone today. "I thought you liked my trim body."  
Oda's eyes undressed Ango with the way he studied him, and he smirked slightly. "I do..but you can stand to gain a few calories here and there."  
Ango cursed himself for the deepening blush crawling over his cheeks and he sighed softly. He was too easily put on by Oda. "Fine."  
Oda gave a snort of amusement and he kissed the man as he was heading out the door. "Bye!"  
Ango felt a surge of accomplishment every time he looked back at the house. That was his! It was his house, and that was his man!  
Whoever dated Oda before him was a fool for leaving!  
* * *  
Chuuya rode the train quietly, staring out the window for his house. He sucked more wine from his straw when the train rounded the turn and he inched against the window.  
He stared at the house, and then froze.  
There was a strange new man on the balcony with the figure of his dreams. It was one with blond hair and glasses, a red ribbon like spilled blood on white roses around his neck.  
They watched the train slug by, and then they turned to look each other in the eye.  
And then they kissed.  
* * *  
Kunikida first met Dazai when the brunette showed up to his meeting with the therapist. The man hypnotized him with deep doe-eyes, his smooth voice, and his curves.  
He had sat soundly in the chair across from Kunikida, and he had smooth-talked Kunikida right over his body in Dazai's bed.  
And now he was here, rubbing a gentle circle over his hip and staring at the train as it chugged by. But Dazai wasn't staring at the train. He was eyeing the sun as it hauled itself over the sky like a drunk dragging himself home.  
Dazai looked at Kunikida and he pulled the blond closer. "Let's board a train."  
"Where are we going?"  
"Where ever we want to."  
Kunikida smiled softly. "That sounds wonderful.." He kissed Dazai, and his rational brain tried to tie in why he was kissing his patient...he forced himself to think it was a character study.  
The brunette was manipulative to get exactly what he wanted...and that just happened to be Kunikida. And the blond didn't know how he wound up in this position, but before he realized what had happened, he was on his back in Dazai's bed again and Dazai was over him, his button-up shirt falling open and exposing small breasts.  
Kunikida's reason slipped away from him like water, and he kissed the brunette tenderly, pulling him closer against his chest.  
"Touch me."  
Hands explored, finding a rip in the crotch of his jeans and he frowned a little as he realized what he was doing. His heart drummed in his ears and he couldn't keep his breath even. Fingers dug into his opening, his hidden opening that no one really knew was there...except those closest to him.  
Dazai curled, shaking hard and sobbing in his ear. "I had a baby..."  
Kunikida listened to this eagerly, still pumping his fingers.  
"She was just the sweetest thing...she never hurt a damn thing..and yet she died."  
He pulled off Kunikida's fingers, and studied him with a kind of far-off look, as though the real Dazai had retreated as soon as the filthy secret was divulged. "You gotta go. Mori's gonna flip shit."  
And he was gone, leaving Kunikida panting, red-faced, and confused. He sat up and pulled his socks back up, a little baffled by Dazai's sudden...reluctance.  
"Same time next week?"  
"Yeah." The door slammed shut as a punctuation and Kunikida sat in the room silently, just thinking about everything he had learned. Then he got up, donned his jacket, and he kissed the brunette goodbye. He collapsed into his car and studied the fingers that had produced his answers.  
He licked them clean.  
* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 is short and sweet compared to the Part 1, mostly because I had to rewrite it...twice. I prefer this render of it, mostly because of it's streamlined image, and launching you straight into the conflict towards the end. I didn't want to continue creating this "perfect" world, and I figured I had already set a perfect stage for our characters.  
> Say goodbye now, for you may never see it all the same way again.

Dazai gripped the bathroom sink, wiping his mouth clean and flushing the toilet with his knuckles. He shook, his stomach giving another uncomfortable lurch. He swallowed this round down...for now. He dropped to his knees and dug underneath the sink for a box long forgotten.  
Pregnancy tests.  
He ripped open a foil and held it to his chest, praying silently and remembering.  
Dazai hadn't always claimed his male gender. He had once been a proud female with long brown hair that reached down to his ass. His ass and perfect breasts always managed to catch some attention, some affection, if only for a couple moments.  
But none of his lovers or admirers was quite like Ren. He knew how to make him spasm, and his orgasms were always intense.  
Then something strange happened. Dazai started gaining weight, and his belly stuck out. He was also very sick, all the time.  
Ren noticed before Dazai, having had experience in getting teenagers pregnant. He took him away, retreated into his father's old hunting cabin and there, Dazai gave birth to a little girl.  
She was perfect...she had thick blond hair, sky-blue eyes, and smiled shortly after her birth. Dazai and Ren couldn't have been happier, living in that old cabin in the summer.  
Ren would hunt, Dazai would cook, and little Lizzy...Little Dizzy Lizzy was their pride.  
Dizzy Lizzy was what Dazai called her...if he lifted her, her head would loll into his shoulder, onto his arm...like she was dizzy.  
Ren tried to show Dazai to support her head, but it never clicked.  
"You're gonna kill her," Ren ranted one night.  
Dazai just hummed as she nursed hungrily. "I will not...she's my own little girl..."  
Lizzy did die, but not from her mother's poor lifting.  
Winter came fast, cutting into autumn like a blade and spreading snow in a thick blanket.  
Ren cursed that entire morning, bundling up and trying to hear the wildlife. "I gotta go," he said. "I gotta find those deer I saw yesterday. You say here...you'll be fine. Just keep the doors and windows closed, and if it comes down to it, you can boil water and pour it into the tub."  
Dazai was less sure, but he agreed and tucked Lizzy into his hoody.  
When Lizzy started shivering and Dazai no longer could feel his toes and fingers, he broke down and boiled a pot of water. He set it out on the porch so it would cool down to the touch, and then retrieved it. He poured it into the tub, and dipped his hands inside.  
It was heaven. He couldn't believe it. Ren was right.  
He chuckled. "Of course he was right...Ren is always right."  
A couple more pots of water and soon, Dazai and Lizzy were sitting in a tub of warm water. He laid Lizzy on his chest, kissing her head. He had intended to stay awake all day and wait for Ren to come back, but some time later, Dazai fell asleep.  
And little Dizzy Lizzy's head was plunged under the water.  
Dazai only woke when a drop of water landed on his head from the leaky ceiling. He stretched and sighed, sitting up.  
In his lap, Lizzy floated face-down. Dazai lifted her quickly and jumped out of the tub. He wrapped her up and rubbed her all over. He shook her upside-down once, tried hitting her back after his brain kicked in, and he just watched as a little trickle of water rained down from her lips.  
She was dead...he had killed his little girl.  
Ren came home to Dazai sobbing. He dropped the doe he had drug all the way home and he ran to his side, kissing his face all over and demanding to know what happened.  
They buried Lizzy in the morning in a shallow grave, laying a stone over the turned earth.  
"It wasn't your fault," Ren whispered.  
Dazai had just nodded, but that night he fled in shame.  
Mori found him three months later, shivering and wasting away in an alley.  
"Hey," Mori had said when he found the ragged form of a body. "You okay?"  
Dazai lifted his head slowly, and he fell in love. "No, you dumbass."  
* * *  
A positive test read out in Dazai's hands. He sobbed over it, both happy and scared shitless.  
Whose baby did he have in his body?  
He ran the list...Not Mori, definitely not Kunikida...that left one person.  
He would have to meet with him soon...he had to let him know.  
He hurried down town, watching a redheaded man sip at a bottle. He smiled when he saw him, and he shook his hips when he kept staring. He loved the way he blushed and he ducked inside a shop.  
"Odasaku!"  
The man smiled and kissed his nose gently, wrapping his arms around him. "Hey, Dazai. What's up?"  
"Let's go to the woods again. there's something I wanna tell you."  
* * *  
Dazai absently rubbed his belly, watching Odasaku. Though he was married and had an adopted baby, Oda spent his days off with Dazai, and especially whenever Dazai asked.  
Oda parked in the national park lot and he stepped out, walking to their favorite trail. Dazai followed, taking his hand and then hugging his arm.  
They ducked off the trail and sat under a large partially-fallen tree out of sight. Dazai rubbed his hands on his thighs nervously.  
"So what's up?" Oda kissed his neck gently, chuckling when Dazai blushed. "Want to have sex again?"  
Dazai gasped when Oda pushed him down and under him, ripping his jeans again, just as he had before he saw Kunikida the last time and the blond fingered him.  
Oda was within him in minutes and Dazai threw his head back, his thighs trembling. Oda filled him in just the right way, and he knew exactly how to make Dazai lose his mind.  
But this isn't what he came for...this isn't what he wanted..  
"Wait," Dazai gasped, gripping his shoulders.  
Oda frowned, then chuckled a little. "Oh..I got you." He flipped Dazai onto his back and he ground into his ass, humping him hard and fast. Dazai gripped the leaf litter under him and moaned.  
"I'm pregnant!"  
Oda stopped immediately, and Dazai's walls rippled against him. "What did you say?"  
"It's your baby...I'm going to have your baby."  
Oda's face collapsed into a scowl and he shoved Dazai away. "You should go."  
Dazai stumbled and slid in the dirt, his bare ass striking the ground hard. His shame ignited and he looked at Oda, who tucked himself away as though Dazai had soiled him somehow. He even wiped his hands on his slacks.  
His shame changed to anger within instants and he rounded on the man. "The fuck is your problem?"  
"You weren't supposed to get pregnant."  
"Well, I am, and I'm keeping it."  
Oda grimaced and looked away. "There's no way it's mine."  
"You're the only guy I'm seeing that fucks me like that and spills inside without a condom. It's gotta be you." Dazai yanked his jeans up over his dirty ass and he sighed. "Look...you don't even have to acknowledge it. I just thought you should know."  
"Get an abortion." Oda was walking closer, almost threatening him with his size, muscle, and his hellfire eyes.  
"No. I've always wanted a baby." Dazai backed up, slipping in the mud with his cheap sandals. He staggered and grabbed at a nearby tree.  
"You better fucking get an abortion."  
Dazai lifted his chin and stopped backtracking. He held his ground, even when Oda stood over him. He was a pussy compared to Mori, a little gingerbread man in front of a milk glass. "No. I'll raise her, and you're going to pay for this baby for the rest of your fucking life."  
Oda moved so fast, Dazai couldn't fully process what had happened, dazed and on his back. Oda fucking pushed him! He pushed him down the slope to the stream, and the sharp rocks below cradled his head and body. A sharp pain from his foot prompted a glance and he groaned.  
His ankle was twisted the wrong way around.  
Oda slipped gracefully down the slope, holding a decent-sized rock in his hands.  
"You're gonna pay..."  
Oda lifted the rock as soon as Dazai started speaking. Anger and adrenaline to preserve the life of his baby blocked out his pain for the most part, but it was quickly fading and he could feel it all over. It was crippling..  
"For this baby..."  
Oda smashed the rock down on Dazai's head once, twice, four times just to make sure.  
Then he walked to his car, dusting his dirty hands on his dirty slacks. He gathered Dazai's belongings on the way and stashed them in his trunk for later disposing.  
* * *  
Ango greeted him sweetly, holding Rose in his arms. "Hey, Oda...you're filthy!"  
"Yeah..I took a walk in the park during lunch and fell."  
Ango smiled softly and looked down at Rose, who had food smeared on her face. "We...ate without you."  
"That's fine, love." He chuckled and he kissed his temple, pressing his newfound erection that he had wasted earlier into Ango. The man bucked into it, and Rose was quickly put down for a nap.  
* * *  
Mori waited patiently for his beloved, mango chicken cooling on the table. He called everyone who Dazai might be with, and no one knew where he would have gone. He stepped outside and called for him, hoping the brunette would run up and nuzzle against him like a lost cat or dog...  
And even when Mori woke in the morning, there was no Dazai snuggled apologetically against him, kissing his mouth and nose for affection and forgiveness.  
He made a call around, wandered through the neighborhood and looked into all the bars and shops, even checking in on the families Dazai babysat for.  
It was...as though he had disappeared.  
* * *  
Chuuya became confused when he never saw the man standing on the balcony anymore. Instead, it was his boyfriend (husband?), staring at the train with the same obsession Chuuya had staring out.  
When he got home, all was revealed.  
"Dazai Osamu was reported missing two days ago by his husband, Mori Ougai. Please, if you have any information about this man, call the police department at their Tip Line numbe-"  
Chuuya turned off his TV, sitting down heavily.  
His name was Dazai Osamu.  
He was married.  
And now he was missing.  
This was a problem for more wine.


End file.
